Don't Call Me Love
by greysky3
Summary: Marlene gets the other seventh year girls drunk. Lily will confess more than she had intended - especially to a certain James Potter. Jily, Two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

"What happened?" Sirius exclaimed. Marlene was wearing a singularly guilty look.

"Sirius? Have I told you how much I love you?" she said, a wide smiled spreading over her face.

"Why is Mary passed out on the ground?" asked Remus.

"And why is Lily giggling like that?" said James, horrified.

"HI EVERYONE!" Hestia ran down the stairs to the Common Room. She was wearing a lamp shade on her head.

"Mars, tell me you didn't get the girls drunk?" said Remus.

"They're just a bit tipsy," said Marlene shiftily. Hestia tripped over her own feet and fell on the ground. "Well, in my defense, I didn't know that they couldn't hold alcohol!"

"How much did you give them?"asked James.

"Er, a crate of firewhisky each?" said Marlene, almost asking a question. James buried his face in his hands, and Remus looked horrified. Sirius simply shrugged.

"Got any more?" he asked. Marlene tossed him a bottle. Sirius grinned and sat down on a couch, where Marlene curled up next to him.

"It's up to us to clean this up, then," Remus told James. They pulled out their wands and starting mending the ripped curtains, cleaning the stains from firewhisky and ink from the rugs, and straightening the portraits and tipped chairs.

Remus levitated Hestia up to the girls' dormitories. "This is such a bad example for the younger students, and I'm a prefect-" he muttered.

"Oh stuff it already, Moony," huffed James. He lit the fire once more and Vanished the empty bottles.

"I'll get Mary up," said Remus. James looked around, and saw Sirius and Marlene had gone, probably in search of a broom closet. James shuddered at the thought. He saw Remus carrying an unconscious Mary.

He suddenly realized he would have to take Lily. "Wait-no, Moony!" he exclaimed. Remus had already gone with a smug smirk.

James edged towards Lily, who was still giggling weakly on the floor. He hoped she wouldn't hex him for touching her, and scooped her up in his arms. Lily promptly began sobbing.

"What's wrong?" James asked, panicking.

"It's... I love you so much, James," she said, calming down.

James nodded, walking up the stairs. He tried to squelch the butterflies when he knew it was the alcohol talking.

He opened the door to the girls' dormitory. Since Lily was with him, he thankfully hadn't fallen down the enchanted smooth stone steps.

He set her down gently on her bed. Hestia was back in hers, snoring loudly. Mary was also asleep, or more like unconscious. Marlene arrived with Sirius. She seemed completely unaffected by the copious amounts of alcohol she'd had, and neither did Sirius.

James was about to leave, when Lily called out: "James!"

He turned around. Meanwhile, Marlene was rummaging through Mary's things. Her Muggle parents had sent her something for her birthday-

She held it up triumphantly. "This, my dear Sirius, is called a tape recorder."

"I love you, James," sighed Lily.

"You've said that," he said uncomfortably.

"No, I mean it."

James grinned.

"Well then, why don't we get married?"

"Oh. Yeah!" Lily said, her expression sincere, until she burst into insane laughter.

"Don't we need a ring?" asked James, trying hard not to laugh at her.

"We do! Here," she said, fumbling with the drawer in her bedside table. She pulled out a small ring with a stone set in it.

She handed it to James. He got down on one knee, and put in on her ring finger. "There you go," he said, standing up.

Lily turned to say something, but passed out.

* * *

She woke up to a horrible headache, and a sense of forgetfulness. It was like something huge had happened, then slipped her mind. She couldn't remember what she'd done the evening before.

She was... studying? Yes, that seemed right. She must have fallen asleep studying. Lily was satisfied. She looked around the dormitory, and saw that Mary and Hestia were still asleep. They were probably studying with her late.

Lily wondered if someone hadn't cast a spell on her memory, because oddly she felt as if something else had happened, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

She shrugged and put on her robes quickly. Lily headed down to the Great Hall. Marlene was sitting with the Marauders, Sirius with an arm around her shoulders. Lily didn't like sitting next to Potter, but it was better to sit with Marlene than by herself.

She resolved to sit in the only open seat, of course next to Potter. She didn't look at him as she piled eggs and bacon on her plate. She finally couldn't ignore him anymore, and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Morning, love," he said.

"Don't call me love."

"Fine, darling."

"That either."

"But sweetheart, we're married!"

Lily snorted. "Sure."

"Oh, I have proof," said Marlene. Lily eyed her as she started eating her eggs. Marlene took out Mary's tape recorder and pressed a button.

"I love you, James," said a voice that was unmistakably Lily's. Lily froze like a deer caught in the headlights.

"You've said that," said the James in question.

"No, I mean it."

"Well then, why don't we get married?"

"Oh. Yeah!"

"Don't we need a ring?"

"We do! Here."

"There you go."

The tape recorder clicked off. Lily stared in horror at her left hand. On it was the ring she'd gotten for her birthday from her parents, with her birthstone. It was on her ring finger.

She looked wordlessly from the ring to Potter, and back again. Oh Merlin, she'd married James Potter.

"Was I Confunded?" she asked in a trembling voice.

"Certainly not, Mrs. Potter," said Sirius. Lily glared at him, opened her mouth, changed her mind, and ran out of the Great Hall.

"Well don't just sit there, Prongs, go find your wife," said Sirius with his barklike laugh.

"Are we really married?" asked James.

"By Wizarding laws, yes. You're both overage," said Remus.

James ran out of the Great Hall, a silly grin on his face.

"They're not really married," said Remus matter-of-factly. He spread some jam on his toast.

"Moony, that might've been your best prank yet," said Sirius, and all four of them erupted in loud laughter.


	2. Chapter 2

Epilogue: Two years later

"Are you two part of the Order?"

"Yes, James and I are fighting for a better world," said Lily with a smile.

"Brave of you," grunted Aberforth.

"Even braver of you to help your brother," she said kindly, linking her hand with James's.

"Mostly people just compare me to him," said Aberforth with a small smile. "How long have you two known each other?"

"Oh, Lily and I have been married for two - what's wrong with you, Padfoot?" asked James indignantly. Sirius was collapsing with laughter. Remus was glaring at him. They couldn't find out.

"As I was saying," said James, watching Sirius who was wiping at his eyes. "I've been married to Lily for two years - Oi, Moony! Not you too!" he said angrily.

Both of them were clutching each other, tears streaming down their faces as they laughed. "Why do you always go loopy when I mention my marriage? Think it's funny, do you?" demanded James.

At this point they laughed even harder. James was at a loss. Lily apologized to Aberforth on behalf of the two Marauders and lifted Moony into the air. He floated above the sea of people in the Order's party.

Sirius joined Remus in the air. He was gasping for breath. The pair laughed all the way out into the hall, still floating in the air.

"I think they're drunk," said James. Lily looked thoughtful.

"Speaking of that, I think I was drunk when we got married."

"Nah," said James with a smile.


End file.
